If you made a mistake

If you make a mistake, just leave it alone and continue with the song. Go on to the next note, focus on what’s coming, not on what was already sung. 

This is a very important lesson I learnt today during my guitar lesson. And you know what? It’s so hard to keep on moving, and not care about your mistakes. Even when you read music and you don’t know the note and you want to stop and think about it because, you want it to be a perfect reading, but you can’t really do that because, the metronom is ticking and you need to move on to the next note. And then you fail and you need to start all over again.

This sounds so much like life. When you know you made a mistake and you want to right it, but you shouldn’t because the clock is ticking and you need to think of the next step you are going to take. You should stop living in the past.

I should stop living in the past.

From now on, I will try to continue with the song, skip the notes I can’t read on the spot, and maybe go back to them when I have time, or do the reading again. By then I will have known it by heart from other reading exercises. This is why great musicians are so chill. They appreciate the big picture better than the rest of us do. We tire ourselves with small things that shouldn’t be so important. It doesn’t matter if you made 50 errors in a concert if in the end it turns out to be a great concert. When you play with other people, you can’t stop to correct your error, and why should you? To draw attention to it? Just let it slide and enjoy the good music. Enjoy the life.

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It’s so ridiculous I can’t believe it. I can’t get this person out of my head. It’s driving me crazy.

All would be wonderful if he showed even one small sign that he knows I exist. The world is so cruel.

when I grow up, I’ll be stable

wuuuut? It’s been over a week since I last posted? that’s just WRONG. I’m gonna keep this blog and update it regularly, you’ll see! paHA

hokay, so a lot of things have happened these past weeks, shitty and great things, but I don’t wanna talk about those for now….let’s talk about what I wanna do with my life, since I feel the need to express it online right here, right now.

When I was a wee child I wanted to be a model slash singer. I thought that’d be the coolest job ever in the world! And I kept telling that to people. Wow, now I know why they thought I was such a shallow person. But it’s true. Those jobs are probably the best in the world. All you need to do is be pretty and sing. That’s basically it. Oh but I kinda forgot that for being pretty you actually HAVE to be pretty and for singing you NEED a voice wtf for real. So when I realized that it’s gonna be impossible for me to be that I was sad. Yes wtf.

haha, ok, that’s actually the bullshit that I used to tell people….I actually wanted to be a luxury prostitute wtf. For real now. After reading this article in a magazine about this woman who instead of becoming a psychologist, became a prostitute for shear pleasure, I was inspired. I was very well aware of the hard road I had to take in order for me to become a LUXURY prostitute, like the high class ones that you hear about on the news that get their hands on wealthy handsome guys, but I was pretty much determined to do it. yup. that was my dream. And mind you, I was what? 6? And I want to add that that article was among the first few things that I was able to read after learning how to read. 

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Now that I think about it, what was it like before learning how to read? How did I feel? Frustrated that I couldn’t read stuff on packages or subtitles, or even the newspaper? I wish I could remember how I learned to read. Did it take long? Was I good at it? Why am I thinking about it now? wtfbbq

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So anyway, as I was saying, I kind of grew up and in high school I wanted to be a doctor working in a busy hospital. Wao, that was dum of me to say. Hospitals are ALWAYS busy wtf. but the point is that I wanted to be a doctor so I wouldn’t have a personal life. It’s kinda hard to have one when you’re working several shifts in a row, and look inside people and realize how shitty their life must be. Oh well. I decided I shouldn’t become one due to the workload. Study all my life and not get paid for real until the age of 40? No thank you. After that I really wanted to work in a mental institution, cause I said “hey, that’s a hospital too and psychology is easier”. I have NO FUCKING IDEA why I thought that way. 

But it’s all in the past now. 

My next careers of choice were a writer, then an actress, then a hawt film director, then a fashion photographer, and now I just wanna be a singer/guitarist in a rock band in Japan. YES. That’s a great job, I know, congratulate me sonovabichies, cause I WILL be famous. If you’re good to me now I might remember you then. I can’t wait for it. Of course, for that I need a second more serious job that will pay my bills while I go to concerts and record songs in the studio.

So there you have it. Me and my wonderful ideas. Now I need to get back to work. Chem work to be more precise. Oh the love wtf.

uuUUuu

So I finally decide I should keep a blog. Like for real this time. It’s a long story, my relationship with blogs. I will deal with it in a more detailed post later. However, I decided to move my 100 question meme from LJ to here. I will try to keep this account up to date.

1. One of your scars: How did you get it?

I don’t have scars. Just those weird colored bruises. My skin bruises too easily.

 

2. What is on the walls in your room?

A huge Reservoir Dogs poster and a semi huge Sympsons – Dali parody poster. aa and a drawing of Spongebob for me by my roommate.(no longer since I can’t find it…sorry)

 

3. What does your cell phone look like?

Sony Ericsson w330i me thinks. I wanna buy a Japanese mobile phone. Someday.

 

4. What music do you like to listen to?

Almost everything once. Having said that, I want to add that rock music rules my life, together with jazz and trip hop.

 

5. Do you know what time you were born?

between 3 and 5 am.

 

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

Go back to college. go to Japan

 

7. What do you miss?

um, my college life. seriously.  nothing really…

 

8. What is your most prized possession?

I don’t like to attach myself sentimentally to objects anymore. Nothing good comes out of it.

 

9. What is your favourite smell?

Japanese Cherry Blossom

 

10. Do you get claustrophobic?

No. I love narrow spaces.

 

11. Do you get scared in the dark?

Yes. I am aware it’s not *cool* at my age, but my imagination scares the shit out of me.

 

13. What is your favourite cologne/perfume?

So far CK1 and TommyGirl.

 

14. What kind of hair do you like on the opposite/same sex?

As long as they look good I don’t really care. HOWEVER, I noticed that dark hair attracts my attention faster…

 

15. Where can you see yourself proposing at?

I don’t see myself proposing.

 

16. Coffee or energy drinks?

Flavoured ethanol

 

17. What is your favourite pizza topping?

I would like to add an s to topping. To me, pizza is full of vegetables, shrimp, chicken, pork, fish, tomato sauce, cheese and MOAR vegetables. oh and oregano. It’s an ADVENTURE.

 

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

nothing. I have this weird sensation in my stomach: I’m hungry yet I feel full.   baclava!

 

19. Who is the last person you made mad?

I think my parents?  my sister

 

20. Do you speak a different language?

aye, English, French, Italian. No longer a beginner in Japanese (w00t). I understand/read/sometimes write Spanish.

 

21. What was the first gift someone (of the opposite sex) ever gave you?

A sticker of Bruce Lee in kinder garden. I was playing a lot with the guys and one of them really thought I was into him. We were young and stupid.

 

28. Would you fall in love knowing that the person is leaving?

I’d try not to.

 

29. What is the best way to tell someone how much they mean to you?

I would like to say “straight in their face”, but I can do that ONLY after fighting, crying and making us feel crappy about it. Yes, that’s the only way to achieve this sort of thing to me.

 

30. Say a number from one to one hundred.

2

 

31. Blondes or brunettes? 

Both can be so damn hawt…

 

32. What is the one number you call often?

My sister’s. So she can call me back. hehe

 

33. What annoys you most? 

people not taking advantage of opportunities. 

 

34. Have you been out of the country?

the US and Italy.

 

35. Your weaknesses?

I guess I have high standards. And a fucking huge ego. My friends and family.

 

36. Where were you born?

Where my parents live.

 

37. First job?

Ilegally working as a bartender at the tender age of 16. 

 

38. Ever done a prank call?

well duh

 

39. What were you doing before you filled out this survey?

checking my email for the 1000th time today.

 

40. If you could get plastic surgery what would it be?

oh gawd, where should I start?

 

41. Why did you fill out this survey?

Hella bored.

 

42. What do you get complimented about most?

my reliability. being someone’s bitch pays off sometimes. only sometimes.

 

43. What would you do if alcohol was outlawed?

I would build a club and sell it there. ILEGALLY! oh the drama…or die

 

44. What do you want for your birthday?

a tall handsome Japanese boyfriend that doesn’t look like a toothpick.

 

45. How many kids do you want?

I hate kids, babies, toddlers, teenagers, you name it. Having said that, I think one boy would be ok. 

 

46. Were you named after anyone?

Yes. a saint and my dad wtf

 

47. Do you wish on stars?

not really…

 

48. Which finger(s) is your favourite?

don’t have one…

 

49. When did you last cry?

a week ago?

 

50. Do you like your handwriting?

sometimes

 

51. What’s your favourite lunch meat?

I’m still feeling what I had last night, so no food for me anymore…  a lot of cheese

 

52. Any bad habits?

I’ll get back to you on that…

 

53. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf?

um…Britney Spears…

 

54. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?

It would be hella hard…

 

55. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?

yeah but it was no biggie

 

56. Do looks matter?

I’m so shallow that it’s a definite yes, they do.

 

57. How do you release anger?

by arguing more

 

58. Where is your second home? 

My parent’s house.

 

59. Do you trust others easily?

too easily to survive in this fucked up world.

 

60. What was your favourite toy as a child?

When I didn’t feel like studying, EVERYTHING was a toy in my hand…I would play with anything I could pick up, pencils, erasers, clothes, desks, chairs, mugs…imagination has no borders..

And, yes, when I was a child I was supposed to study a lot. 

 

61. How many numbers are in your cell phone?

about 50.

 

63. Do you use sarcasm?

I have a proficiency diploma in sarcasm and an advanced one in sadism awarded by the university of we don’t like stupid people.

 

64. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? 

I was NEAR a mosh pit. In the other room to be more precise.

 

65. What do you look for in a girl/boy?

haha the height. they need to be taller than me, which is kinda hard…damn >_<. oh yeah and the shallow thing named goodlooks.

 

66. What are your nicknames?

vampire, El, Elle, bloodsucker, little dark cloud wtf

 

68. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

used to wtf

 

70. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?

all of them wtf

 

72. What are your favourite colours?

black (yeah I know it’s not a colour), purple, blue, red, green. FUCKSIA WTF

 

73. How many wisdom teeth do you have?

all of them

 

75. Do you want everyone to answer these questions?

who’s everyone?

 

76. What are you listening to right now? 

gazette zakurogata…

 

77. Last thing you ate?

fucking Greek salad. oh the regrets… ice cream

 

78. Last person you talked to on the phone?

my dad about leaving a party. my sister this morning

 

79. The first thing you notice in the opposite/same sex?

height. nuff said

 

82. Favourite drink?

semi dry white wine.

 

84. What is your favourite sport? 

football. real people know which sport I’m talking about wtf

 

85. Hair colour? 

dark brown. hopefully soon to be purple

 

86. Eye colour? 

dark brown.

 

87. Do you wear glasses? 

yeah. I need to get my new pair of lens for school. only when no one sees me. contacts are my god wtf

 

88. Siblings?

big sister.

 

89. Favourite month?

January.

 

90. You like sushi? 

yeah…

 

91. Last thing you watched? 

a yahoo live interview of alice nine. it was fun.

 

93. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

damn straight

 

94. Summer or Winter? 

winter spring and autumn.

 

95. Kisses or hugs? 

oh the kissies….

 

96. Relationships or one night stands?

I don’t mind either.

 

97. Who is the most likely to answer these questions? 

wtf

 

98. Who is the least likely to answer these questions?

wtf

 

99. What books are you reading?

none at the moment.

 

100. Where do you work?

Life. it takes up all my time.