The dawn of December 26th 1988 will forever be in the history of mankind, the day Elena was born. She was conscious before being born, so she was the first one to have ever witnessed her own birth. She also had previous knowledge of the world. After being born, she sat on the doctor’s shoulder and told her mother and the people present in the room that she was “the one”.

Nostradamus was the first one to foresee this mighty event, and boy was he right. At the tender age of 7, Elena already was able to speak Greek, Latin, English, French, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Romanian, Italian Korean, Indian and Spanish. She could play the piano, the flute, had a black belt in karate and solved complex mathematical equations. She won various Nobel prizes under different pseudonyms and sent her relatives to collect the prizes.

By the age of 15 she was tired of the world and decided to help it move in the right direction. So she contacted all the presidents in the world and told them that they should clear their desks, since she was appointed the new president of the world. One might think that the presidents revolted against this, but they didn’t. (Or so we were told. We couldn’t find any of them for an interview) Ruling the world is a tough job, but Elena proved to be an outstanding president. She put a stop to famine, AIDS, crying babies and whining children, AND stupidity! She designed the new space program and was able to conquer the solar system by her 17th birthday. At 18, she inaugurated the new space shuttle that could travel at the speed of light. She boarded on it and conquered all the planets in the universe in 1.5 years on a Monday at 5 p.m. just in time for tea. She was the first to draw a map of the universe. She is also, the only one who owns said map. She didn’t receive a lot of resistance from alien species as they were all able to sense the superiority of Elena’s being.

At the age of 19 she wrote her autobiography. This way people found out she is actually a vampire, likes chocolate and honey together, loves hot tall men , likes cheese (a lot), prefers wine but can drink anything, gets cold really fast, and that she secretly starred in a rock band as the lead guitarist. After this, she decided she wants to play some more so she invented a time machine and came back to the 2000s to teach humanity the right way and announce that “it’s time”.